A Little Backstory....

I just wated to give a little explanation about the clip posted below. We were in the middle of a "Freaks and Geeks" marathon, and I had been holding that particular piss in for two hours after having drunk an assortment of Rootbeer and Pepsi, so I really had to go. I just wanted to clear that up in case anyone thought I had a small bladder. I do not, in fact, have a small bladder. I do, in fact, have a gargantuan bladder, however, the rate in which it fills is directly proportionate to the rate I drink. Which is a lot.

It can be represented by this formula below:

X= 500 ml of liquid
Y= 1 hour

6X+2Y= 3 minutes of solid urine flowage

Peace.

I'm Back!

Hail, hail, small citizens of wheremever you may be! I have returned, chock full of scathing wit and improper grammar, in true form, ready to once again provide endless minutes of entertainment with my no holds barred and highly irrelevant...words. And such a wordsmith am I, that I shall fleer and flaunt all the fantastic furniture of the future while fidgeting, following, and fucking; for I am nothing if not a feathered flea, flapping fondly as fantasies fortell of fleeting fagels forworned of freed flakes of fluff from a fellow aged fifteen; fifteen forlorn and fancy free fortnights. In short: I am a man.

And I figure if Adam gets to display photos of all things him, why can't I showcase a few original pieces of art. I call this one "Faded Multi Colour Dots Set on a background of a colour between cold steel and blue." Enjoy:











I know. It's fantastic.
Well, I guess i'm done, seeing as how this whole post was just so that people didn't forget I also contribute to this blog.


remember him....remember him...

Parker's Post #2

Hello again. I offer you, the reader, this lighter and possibly more amusing post to counteract the more serious and vaguely disturbing post presented by Adam and Joss Whedon below, which I will refuse to comment on as it is far to heavy a subject for me to get into in my classically short posts. Nyhah. Moving on; I have come to the conclusion in the last 10 minutes that attic bedrooms lead to an increased level of fitness. Bear with me as I expand on my genius thesis. Due the nature of attic bedrooms, computers have a difficult time receiving wireless internet signals. This in turn leads to me having to set my laptop up in the middle of the floor in my room, in order to access the internet and explore the vast realm that is cyber space. Unfortunately, this lack of a chair and desk leads to uncomfortable seating options. Now you may believe in your naive way, that that would be comfortable, however you would be as wrong as a naked fat man at a nude beach. After the many hours I spend on the computer, sitting cross legged is quite painful and leads to equally painfull pins and needles, which in turn lead to hopping, cursing, banging my head on my low ceiling, blacking out, and waking up in the middle of a park with my pancreas missing (fortunately that only happened once), and now due to my fluctuating blood sugar levels I find it even harder to sit and blog. My lack of insulin aside, this uncomfortable seating means I change positions often and frequently take strech breaks. This stretching has led to an increased level of flexibility, so much in fact that I can now blast out a bridge and touch my toes (with straight legs I might add!) In short, I'm so flexible now I could bang your mother and she'd say, "Damn, that Parker boy is really flexible." And I be all like, "You know it baby."

Well that's that I suppose. Expect more soon, but I figure it's best to give people time before reading more of my posts to prevent people from getting lost within the paradoxial free confines of my twisted mind.

Until then,
Peace