Parker's Post #3

Hey, Hey, Hey all you (expletive) (expletive)'s! I realize that in the theme of keeping this blog family oriented I should not cuss or swear, because if I were to learn that I had warped some small child's mind i would feel just pretty damn shitty now wouldn't I? However then I realized that no small children actually read this, and I was all like, "...huh...". So screw you kids! If you don't want to read dirty words like poo, orgy, stupid-head, boobs, bum, bum-crack, bum-hole, ass, ass-face, hooker, concubine, nuts, shit, crack-whore, and various other body part related words, and if you don't want to read phrases like "your momma is so fat...", or, "man, gonorrhea itches like a...", than I strongly recommend you don't read what you just finished reading. you're a very dirty person. For shame.

Moving on. Just 3 days left of school and then I'm done! Oh and Adam too. congrats there palio. But I'm more done. So...Ha. I apologize. I am beginning to ramble, because I really have nothing to say, so I'm going to develop a topic right now...and...Go.

What's the deal with the vegetables? Seriously, they get their own compartment in the fridge and everything. Why should vegetables be given special treatment over other food products? sure they're chock full of vitamins and nutrients, but what about dairy products. they contain nutritive goodness like calcium and vitamin D, but nooooo, that's not good enough to warrant their own special bloody pull out drawer in the fridge. I personally think vegetables are playing us all for fools. I mean, look at celery. What the hell has celery ever done for us? We can't even digest that shit. And shit is what it becomes, because it just passes right through us. We don't even retain calories from it. In fact if you only ate celery, you would die of starvation. So I ask you, my fellow human beings, Will we take this lying down? No! We shall rise up at the evil, repressive fridge drawers for the segregation they impose upon our food groups. I ask you, are not all food groups created equal? Is not protein as necessary to life functions as vitamin C? Rise up brothers and sisters of the new order, rise up and take back from the veggies that which we have worked so hard to create! For I have seen the future, and it is a future in which asparagus and cream cheese walk hand in hand through a new garden of Eden, a garden that has been man made through advanced engineering and mechanics, a fridge without plastic constraints. A fridge of peace and understanding, so that the age old battle between good and evil, right and wrong, veggie and dairy, comes to an end, and a new generation of some kind of cross bred dairy/veggie freak of nature can rule the fridge, and one day, even the counter. And the first step towards this new world is removing that damn slide out drawer that makes the freakin' green pepper so pretentious. Screw you green pepper! I'll eat your children! That's all I have to say about that I guess. And Adam if you never want me to write on here again I'll understand...

peace